November 13

 ––––It’s Monday night!

And no, it’s not because of Monday night football, although I am the real fanatical football fan in our family. I love every aspect of the game. But that’s not what makes every other Monday night one of my favorite nights. It is the five young women who come to my home for dinner. All of the girls are in their 30s. Their husbands are on the staff of our church where my husband is the senior pastor. Each of them has several toddlers, and when Monday night rolls around they stagger into my house and collapse. It’s not unusual for one to arrive in tears defeated by a strong-willed three year old, or wounded by a hurtful conversation with a husband, or simply depleted by consecutive nights of sleep deprivation.

Over dinner together we take turns sharing with these questions in mind: What is happening that is really affecting my internal world? What things are capturing my thoughts and prayers? Do I have a sense of something God might be saying to me? What verse in scripture has spoken to me recently? We also try to address one question unique to ministry wives. And we pray for each other’s needs.

I love these girls because they are real. There is no pretense. There’s a freedom simply to be in whatever mood any of us is in (whether it is PMS––theirs––or hot flashes––mine!), and yet to be loved and challenged or comforted as needed. I love their hearts for God. Each one truly wants to grow in Him. They keep me sharp. They encourage me. They push me. They ask me tough questions. And they make me laugh.

They also cause me to remember. I remember feeling like I was “dripping with babies,” (we had five in seven years). I remember longing to sleep through one whole night and wondering if I would live long enough to experience it. I identify with their feelings of failure as a mother. I understand their frustrations with their husbands and how badly they want to be good, supportive wives. And I have walked in their shoes of balancing ministry and family.   

What I’ve been reminded of is that one of the blessings of the empty nest is that we can empathize with the younger generation. We’ve been there. We understand. God can use our own past experiences to encourage them. It’s a kind of redemption. Had I not gone through some hard times in my early years, I would not be as understanding of the season that they are in now. God is good, and the empty nest is good, for in it we have the opportunity to look back at His faithfulness and to encourage those who are where we used to be!